Anonymous asked: How do you normally cope with dysphoria? I need new coping mechanisms so I was wondering what you do to help yourself through the worst of it :(
Here are the things that I do, what works for you may vary.
- Keep as busy as you’re able to. If you can, exhaust yourself such that you fall asleep easily.
- Try to get in touch with yourself enough that you know when you need to avoid mirrors. If you absolutely need to use one, you can try to make it a slightly better experience in a couple of ways. (1) You can psych yourself up for it a tiny bit by mentally saying nice things about your appearance before looking, and (2) you can adorn the mirror itself with shit that makes you feel better (sticky notes of self-affirmation, or charms and rose quartz if you’re into magic shit). I know this stuff sounds silly, but it helps me.
- Figure out what makes you feel okay wrt clothes and do it as much as you can.
- Be aware of when you’re self-harming (and that it can take a lot of forms - sex has historically been a major one for me), but cut yourself a ton of slack because it’s not your fault. Do what you need to keep yourself safe, but keep in mind that there’s nothing wrong with so-called “bad coping mechanisms” as long as they help and you don’t hurt anybody.
- Be careful about what kinds of media you consume - I don’t watch TV or very many movies because they pretty categorically make me feel fucked up.
- Find things about your appearance that you like. Focus on them when you need to.
- Pray a lot if that’s your thing.
Hang in there. Frankly, it doesn’t get better. It’s impossible to be a trans woman under patriarchy without internalizing a lot of the hatred of trans women’s bodies that permeates our entire society. That said, there IS stuff you can do that makes it more manageable, you WILL acclimate over time, and it CAN be survived.
Hey friends, I just got a text from a friend asking for advice for her friend, a gay trans woman who was told today at her workplace that she is no longer permitted to use the women’s restroom and must either use the mens room or set up “scheduled quarantined bathroom breaks.” She’s located in the state of Oregon, for reference if anyone has legal advice. She’s planning on taking legal action but my friend was looking for suggestions for her in the meantime. Does anyone have any advice I can pass along?
This is complete and utter bullshit, your friend’s employers are blatantly breaking Oregon’s anti discrimination laws, specifically Or. Rev. Stat. § 659A.403, which prevents discrimination on the basis of gender identity to public accommodations, this includes access to bathrooms that match her gender. She absolutely should contact the state’s civil rights commission and file a complaint, a link on how to go about doing that can be found here. Additionally, I would recommend getting in touch with Basic Rights Oregon and filing a complaint through them. They’ve been incredibly effective at addressing discrimination against trans women in the state and the people I know who work with them are fiercely dedicated. I hope your friend gets the help she needs, behaviors like this are from anyone are intolerable and it cuts so much deeper when it’s from an employer. Please offer her as much support and understanding as you are capable of. Things like this take a severe mental toll on the person being discriminated against.
all ive seen from the queer agenda so far is young queer people being afraid around their family and older queer people vowing to be their new family in very serious and heartfelt ways. like honestly im everyones mom at this point and at least five other people are my moms and one is my sibling.
i hope the straights are scared. if we keep this up pretty soon itll be normal to have a family made entirely of friends who are all afraid and all look out for eachother and are brave.